Friday, May 30, 2008
SEX AND THE IRRITANTS IN THE CITY
The Sex and The City movie opens today.
I am seriously dreading the hordes of shrieking tourists infiltrating the city, drawn by a love of their favorite show, wearing what they presume is the New York Look (this tends to be whatever black items they have in their closet) arguing over who the "Carrie" of the group is.
They will giggle and sip Cosmos.
They will talk about their love of "cute shoes".
They will take pictures in front of the Carrie Bradshaw stoop.
They will ask for directions to Tao and The Magnolia Bakery.
They will revel in the glory of shuffling down the same streets as "the Sex and the City girls". They will say how amazing New York is. How friendly people are, how they want to move here. They will get a bit drunk and shout out their favorite quotes from the show. They will live life large. They will be "fabulous".
But mostly they will inspire me to sneer and mutter,
"Shut your fuckin' pieholes you flabby shitstains."