Check it, Peons: Your CNN Humiliation Compartmentalized

Monday, July 21, 2008

FREE GAS (CHOCHA NOT INCLUDED)


Just read an article from Reuters about all the wacky ways in which Americans are scrambling to get access to cheap and/or free gasoline. It seems that the Red Cross is "is running a summer raffle where blood donors are eligible to win a year's supply of fuel." And at St. Ann's Parish in West Bridgewater, Massachusetts, the Rev. Edward McDonagh "has decided to institute a drawing for a $50 gasoline card at weekly mass."

I imagine this is powerful incentive for those who find that redemption from both the pump and satan's clutches is a good combination.

But my favorite example was this:

At the Shady Lady Ranch brothel in Beatty, Nevada, clients who spend $300 or more this month will receive $50 gas vouchers as part of a promotion to beat the summer slump in business.
"It's rocking along. We're doing quite well. June and July historically are not big months," said James Davis, who co-owns the ranch with his wife, Bobbi.
The first $1,000 in gas cards were given out within a week, he added.


Naturally, I had to check out the Shady Lady Ranch website. Please do yourself a favor and do the same. This link goes straight to the sexy Shady Lady ladies. And take the photographic tour of this exquisitely glamorous brothel. It's luscious. Who could resist the "Love Tub"? Especially when you imagine legions of hairy fat men getting serviced within it's heart-shaped confines...

THE SHADY LADY LADIES

Now:
In my estimation, the hottest Shady Lady is Lori.

Sure Electra is showing a cheeky hint of nipple, and gettin' saucy in the Love Tub.
Sure Dakota is skilled at the "booty mag ass-to-the-heavens" pose.
Sure Rio has an affinity for leopard print and Glamour Shots hair.

But Lori, ahh...Lori. Lori who didn't even bother to make up a sleazy fake name. Lori in her high waisted, skin tight circa 1982 jeans and vaguely acid wash-esque top.
She knows how to bait her lover and reel 'em in.

Who's with me on this one?

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

How could you not mention that their logo is a jester? What's that got to do with getting laid? If I go there, will Lori laugh at the size of my dick? What is the meaning of this?

Beg to Differ said...

Kai Li looking like she's about to drop the deuce on that fur rug is pretty tempting.

Anonymous said...

My Dear Saara - you forgot to mention you too can "be a shady lady girl!"
They're "looking for some new faces" and presumable some new vaginas.
Requirements:
Between 21 and 40.
Have a Good Work Ethic.
Must be Service Oriented.
Have a Willingness to Please.
Have a Positive Attitude.

Sounds like a better job than being a VJ!

vjdutton said...

Thanks for pointing that out! I think the key requirement there (much like working the Burger King drive thru-window) is "Service Oriented."

Anonymous said...

I'm scared of the love tub.