Check it, Peons: Your CNN Humiliation Compartmentalized

Monday, February 02, 2009


This is thoroughly vile:

CASABLANCA (AFP) – Taking things a little too literally, a Moroccan man was jailed for six years for selling customers dog meat instead of beef, a judicial source said Friday.
The man, who admitted mixing the dog meat with chemicals to conceal the different smell and colour, was also made to pay a fine of 10,000 dirhams (900 euros, 1,185 dollars).

But it got me to thinking about the couple of instances where I have been absurdly drunk, and thought it was a good time to purchase a hot dog from a street vendor. Now, I know that "Law and Order" would have viewers believe that lawyers eat that shit every day--but this is a heinous lie. The only time locals ever eat a street vendor hot dog is when they are drunk. And not just buzzed, I mean bumping into the walls, singing into a beer bottle, arguing with/fucking the bartender plastered.
The only saving grace is that the next morning, you usually have little recollection of the whole disgusting culinary experience.

Except for the last time I did this. It was two thirty in the morning, and I was out with a pal. She could barely eat one bite, while I wolfed mine down. Afterwards, she told me the vendor had dirt caked under his fingernails. While I'd say she could have given me a heads up before I ate the dog, in the condition I was in, I doubt it would have mattered.

A few days later, I was late for work, and just pulled out the same dress I'd worn out a few nights before. I was in a rush, and did not notice until I was well on my way to 6th avenue that there was hot dog...slime all over the tit section of this dress. So I didn't just scarf that filthy crap down--I did it with a FLOURISH!

I haven't eaten another one since.


Anonymous said...

Did you lick the slime off for lunch?

vjdutton said...

I'm broke, but not that broke.