Some people collect decorative spoons or thimbles from their trips to foreign lands.
Me, I collect toilet paper.
Actually, I don't even collect it personally.
No. Since I have the best friends a girl could ask for, I am able to wipe my ass with toilet paper from lands I've never visited.
In the photo above, you'll see a roll of toilet paper all the way from Amsterdam.
That's right.
When I wipe my ass with this toilet paper, I can almost see the beautiful tulips and smell the hash smoke wafting out of a quaint cafe on the Leidseplein.
So, if any of you are planning any overseas trips, I urge you to think of me and my International House of Toilet Paper. You'll be helping this broke writer travel the world in my own special way.
Much obliged.
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