Check it, Peons: Your CNN Humiliation Compartmentalized

Wednesday, September 27, 2006


"Prompter Queen" the former VJ, related this story to me the other night over some beloved cheap Chardonnay:

"I used to be an expert TelePrompter. I could cut the scripts, place them on that conveyer belt with one hand, scroll with the other and keep my co-workers entertained with my spirited singing during commercial breaks. No one could top me.
Well, the time came for my interview for the giant leap into Feeds. I was nervous, but I answered Joe Kinstle and Julie Gooch's questions as clearly and calmly as possible.
But then they asked me:
'Why do you think you deserve to be promoted to Feeds?'
It struck me as such a weird question.
Why does anyone deserve to be promoted to some dark crevice where you push play and record?
So I said, 'Well, I've really mastered all the VJ skills.'
'What separates your skills from other people's skills?' Joe asked.
Trying to make light of this question, being that VJ skills seemed so menial, I cracked a smile and said,
'I sing while I TelePrompt.'
Without smiling, Julie asked 'What do you sing?'
So I broke into 'Rollin', Rollin', Rollin' on a prompter...bah-bah-bah-bah bah bah!'
They did not laugh.
And I did not get promoted."


J said...

Thank you for that late afternoon chuckle..I haven't thought of Joe Kinstle in over 10 years. Didn't he have a lazy eye or something? Wasn't something awry about him? Well, wait a second..of COURSE something was awry. Look at the position he was in. And how did Julie Gooch stay perpetually tan, while governing the darkest cavern in the building? Did she pilfer the few rays of sunshine that would have erased our suicidal tendencies, and beam them into her 6x6 cubby hole? And who's name is actually Gooch (besides Arnold Jackson's nemesis on Diff'rent Strokes?)

Oh yeah, you didn't miss anything not being promoted to feeds, except getting a nasty cold every 3 weeks from using the dirty, decades-old phones, and meeting a disturbing new set of high school-like cliques who were cocky because they skipped being a VJ altogether and went straight to feeds. How sad for them!

-vjHoolia, rhymes with Goolia

Feeds 90-91 said...

Why was Julie interviewing you? She wasn't a shift leader or anything as I recall. She also passed the edit test her first time, over people that actually had editing talent. That always bugged me.

Kristin said...

Boo to them for not recognizing ingenuity. Ah ha ha. At least you have a sense of humor about it. : )