Check it, Peons: Your CNN Humiliation Compartmentalized

Thursday, September 07, 2006

YAHOO! IT'S YARMUTH!


I'm posting this photo for the glorious former VJ now known as "J"
Otherwise known as VJHoolia Goolia.
If you're still confused, consult the comments section for the Labor Day VJ Toast Post.
Moreover:
I'm posting this photo for anyone who ever had to answer to a rather mild-mannered guy named FLOYD YARMUTH.
Yeah.
That's right.
FLOYD YARMUTH.
You know how some names would never sound right over a loud speaker in an emergency room:
"Paging Dr. Yoakam. Paging Dr. Dwight Yoakam."
Or some names just don't work in certain scenarios:
"And representing the Prosecution for the State of New York- Mr. Billy Bob Thornton."
Well.
This is the opposite. Never have a mother and father named a kid more perfectly for middle management.
It's almost as if they knew his professional fate the second he took his first breath.
FLOYD YARMUTH.
Yeah.
There's a sense of destiny in a name like that.
That's the name of a man born to push CNN peons around, and wear well-pressed Dockers while doing it.
Everybody now:
FLOYD YARMUTH.

3 comments:

J said...

What's your favorite Floyd story?

Mine would have to be at the convention in San Diego. Those unlucky enough to have the morning shift (like myself) had to be at work at some ungodly hour like 3:30am. Floyd happened to be on that shift with me, and one morning he just didn't show up. Rumors flew that he had been partying hard that evening, with several tequila bottles and some extremely lucky San Diegoans in tow. Some people claimed he was seen in the hotel jacuzzi just hours before his shift.

There seemed to be an odd cocktail of emotions swirling in the air. We all chuckled at the prospect of Floyd doing tequila shots off of a local's belly, considering he had a girlfriend back in Atlanta (another CNNer.) There was anger from the control truck, "Where the hell is he?" they bellowed. Then, you just couldn't help feel sorry for him. What HAD happened? Floyd always showed up. Floyd was around every corner, lurking..waiting to see you screw up on the prompter so he could have something to do and correct you.

Floyd stuck to a story that he was sick with the flu, and that he had taken heavy medication and slept through his alarm. Nobody really knows what happened, so I suppose yet another story shall go down in the CNN Folklore books.

I much prefer the tequila-shooting, jacuzzi-soaking, floosy-toting, three-sheets-to-the-wind story. After all, he was the VJ Supervisor. He deserved a good night of drunken oblivion, sexual debauchery, and subsequent shift abandonment. Honestly, I am surprised he didn't do that once a week to just keep his sanity.

Maybe he did..?

-vjHoolia Goolia

Anonymous said...

My favorite bit about Yarmuth was the "candid" picture of him on the wall of the old breakroom. It was a photo of him in feeds, his mouth wide open. It was supposed to show the "rough and tumble, fly by the seat of your pants" atmosphere of the newsroom. But instead it looked like he was about to offer some paying customer a lot of pleasure.

Floyd, Floyd, null and void. said...

I remember him as a young whipper snapper VJ then feeds guy. Then poof! He's managing other VJ's. Huh?