Check it, Peons: Your CNN Humiliation Compartmentalized

Tuesday, February 20, 2007


A side note about late-night floor directing:
During commerical breaks, it was often like a variety show. Floor directors who were bored shitless would offer up entertainment for two minutes. Since you were standing there in a studio, and all the important types had already gone home, it seemed appropriate. A friend of mine used to sing lounge versions of Loverboy's "Everybody's Workin' For The Weekend" and Billy Ocean's "Get Out Of My Dreams (Get Into My Car)". He'd also do Broadway production numbers where he'd scoot across the floor, hands artfully punching the air, shouting, "BIG MOVES! BIG CHOICES!"
This friend was a polite, perma-necktie guy who many deemed an ass-kisser, since he was the only VJ invited to a couple of anchor parties. Plus he received a 20 dollar Barnes and Noble gift certificate for Christmas from Joe Kinstle when the rest of us got a big fat helping of nothin'. (This is what mass poverty does to a workplace. Lack of a 20 dollar gift certificate was MORE than enough to create outrage amongst employees. A free package of half-eaten Ho-Hos could inspire bitchery.)
But I knew better than to call him an ass-kisser. He just played the game better than the rest of us.
The other thing he did better than the rest of us (while floor directing) was this dance, the Boris Yeltsin jig:

So if you're celebrating Mardi Gras today (and I hope you are) consider infusing your Second Line dance with a few patented moves from a past Russian president who truly had some fierce rhythm. Laissez Les Bon Temps Roulez!

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