Check it, Peons: Your CNN Humiliation Compartmentalized

Friday, January 09, 2009


We have an enterprising boozer with a commitment to the cause that we're celebrating here on Peon Confidential today:

BILLINGS, Mont. – A school bus driver made an unscheduled stop at a liquor store, then allegedly asked a student to help hide her purchases when police stopped her, the district superintendent said. It does not appear the driver had been drinking, Billings Public Schools Superintendent Jack Copps said. No charges had been filed but the driver quit her job this week.

This woman was not about to go without her booze, and used any means necessary to ensure she got it.
I appreciate her tenacity and resourcefulness. She makes other boozers seem lazy in comparison.

But it got me to thinking of other creative ways to transport booze in a pinch:

1. By mule/camel/shetland pony

2. Tucked inside Phillip Seymore Hoffman's ass

3. On a Zamboni

4. Strapped to Celine Dion

5. Pulled by a tribe of pygmies

6. In a rickshaw driven by Regis Philbin

7. In a Miata driven by Richard Simmons

8. On Tootie's roller skates

9. In a Frito-Lay van hijacked by Chad Lowe

10. On The Great Space Coaster

Any others?


Anonymous said...

I don't think I could drink anything that had been tucked inside PSH's ass. Or anyone's ass.

Anonymous said...

In my liver.