Color me bewildered:
GREENFIELD, Calif. – Police have arrested a Greenfield man for allegedly arranging to sell his 14-year-old daughter into marriage in exchange for $16,000, 100 cases of beer and several cases of meat.
Several cases of meat. Was it rump roast, chuck roast, brisket, or prime rib? And why stop there when bartering away your daughter's life? If you're going to ask for several cases of meat, why not ask for:
1. A crate of Fruit of the Loom sweat socks
2. 12 boxes of ShamWows
3. A year's supply of Ore-Ida TaterTots
4. A truckload of Tucks hemorrhoid pads
5. Several Drakkar Noir gift sets from J.C. Penney