Check it, Peons: Your CNN Humiliation Compartmentalized

Wednesday, October 28, 2009


Well I am just beside myself.
It used to be that in this world of uncertainty, there were still a few precious things you could count on to remain unchanged:

1. That gross liquid discharge on the top layer of yogurt

2. Acoustic guitarists in Hawaiian shirts playing Jimmy Buffet songs at Florida beach resorts

3. The Hooters Outfits

The original Hooters outfits are the gold standard: Orange, camel toe-inducing shorts, tight tank top with the owl eyes stretched out over pendulous/surgically enhanced tits and of course, the shiny beige pantyhose. This sublime workplace attire was a source of national pride. Now they've gone and changed it to the monstrosity pictured above. Why camouflage? These women do not need to hide in a Vietnamese jungle. They need to serve me fucking hot wings and beer!
Damn. Another piece of iconic American fashion history is relegated to the dusty recesses of our collective consciousness...

1 comment:

The Hooters Owl said...

Whoooooo do you think you are, VJ Dutton?
(Thank you, I'm here all week. Try the veal.)