Check it, Peons: Your CNN Humiliation Compartmentalized

Monday, November 09, 2009


You know the only thing worse than your favorite bar going out of business?
Your favorite bar under new management.

For many years, there was a fantastic New York bar called Under The Volcano on 12 E. 36th Street. It was a murky joint that took its name from Malcolm Lowry's 1947 book about a depressed alcoholic expat in Mexico. There were incredible Dia de los Muertos creatures placed in strategic locations. Candles dripped wax all over the bar. The music was great. The staff could actually translate and explain the literary relevance of a famous quote from the book, which had been painted on the wall: LE GUSTA ESTE JARDIN? QUE ES SUYO? EVITE QUE SUS HIJOS LO DESTRUYAN!

In a dull part of Midtown, this strange place was a beacon of cool in a sea of boring, charmless pubs. Instead of office drones knocking back Budweisers, you'd find punk pioneer Legs McNeil sneering at everyone in the corner. (Okay, I only witnessed this once, but it still counts.)

Well, I went in there recently, and the whole place had been revamped. There were flat screen TVs blaring college football. They'd replaced the spooky amber windows. They'd removed all the Dia de los Muertos art and the dripping candles. The music was shit. They'd painted over the famous quote on the wall.

And yet they've kept the name "Under The Volcano". Why? What the fuck is the point? It's false advertising. Just go ahead and rename it Andy's Ale House or McDuffy's or some other shit.

I won't be back.

Anyone else have a similar story about your favorite bar?

UPDATE: Not sure if the new management reads this blog, but I walked past this place a couple days ago to find that that they've changed the name to The Archive.


Anonymous said...

No shit. I went there about a week ago. I walked in, saw the tv's and the blank wall and turned around and left. The place looks like it should be in florida or southern california now.

vjdutton said...

You are smarter than me. My friend and I actually stayed for a drink. When I remarked how much it had changed, the bartender kept trying to tell us how much better it was than before. Pointing out the new floors and windows. It was so depressing. We just clinked our drinks and called it a wake.

DF said...

What? I thought there was already a douchebag bar called The Ginger Man across the street?

vjdutton said...

DF, that bar is actually better than Under The Volcano now, if you can picture such a travesty.

Anonymous said...

I can't believe they did this to Under the Volcano. It was my favorite bar in this area and now it's gone.

If I would open up a bar it would look a lot like the Under the Volcano. They had it right, too bad they sold the place.