Check it, Peons: Your CNN Humiliation Compartmentalized

Wednesday, November 18, 2009


(Enjoy today's Large Print Edition. No need to dig out those reading glasses. No, I didn't do this on purpose. Not sure what I did wrong, but I can't seem to fix it.)

I just read this from the Associated Press:

BROWNSVILLE, Texas – A 19-year-old Brownsville man is jailed on a drug charge after he allegedly went door-to-door trying to sell marijuana. A Brownsville police spokesman says Anthony Carrazco's alleged scheme went awry when he knocked on a police officer's apartment door.

Now, this fellow is an idiot. (Almost as idiotic as a person who can't fix font issues on their blog.) No question there. But it got me to thinking about other goods and services that are best not sold door to door.
I came up with this list:

1. Opened tubes of hemorrhoid ointment, accompanied by an offer to help with application

2. Lederhosen 

3. "Manager's Special" Ground Beef

4.  Dentures

5.  Opened boxes of Tampax, accompanied by an offer to help with insertion

6. Internal Organs

7. Whoopie Cushions

8. Tubas

9. Monkeys (That didn't stop 70's cult leader Jim Jones from doing it, however)

10. Opened jars of Vaseline, accompanied by an offer to help smear it someplace


Anonymous said...

My eyes! My eyes! Saara, there's a way to normalize the font in your tool bar. Use it, woman.

vjdutton said...

Well of course I tried that. Then the font got too small. And you know me--as a short person with a severe Napoleon complex, I'll always take too big over too small. (And since I know where all you perverts are going with this, the answer is: girth.)

Anonymous said...

11) Bikini wax inspection services?

Anonymous said...

12) genital wart remover?

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vjdutton said...

I'm glad that the blog was useful to you, Anonymous!