Check it, Peons: Your CNN Humiliation Compartmentalized

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

INFLATABLE SLIDE AS RESIGNATION DEVICE


By now, JetBlue flight attendant Steven Slater has become a symbol of fighting bullshit with a flourish:

JETBLUE FLIGHT ATTENDANT STORMS OFF THE JOB BY DROPPING F BOMBS AND EVACUATING PLANE VIA INFLATABLE SLIDE

This guy is a crusader in an era of overbooked flights, rude passengers and uncomfortable seats. Plus he has panache. But it got me to thinking how much cooler any resignation would be if you could exit stage left by zooming down an inflatable slide:

Imagine Richard Nixon resigning as President by shouting, "Fuck you America! You won't have Richard Nixon to kick around anymore" grabbing Pat by the hand and slipping out of the White House on an inflatable slide. Or if David Lee Roth quit Van Halen by packing up all his Aqua Net shrieking, "Fuck you Eddie! I'm out of here" and releasing an inflatable slide tucked away in his lycra pants.

The bottom line is:
If this shitty economy has taught us anything it's that there is no job security. We're all adrift, and you've got to sort out your path in a unique way. So if you're going to quit, take a lesson from Steven Slater and do it up right. Burn that fucking bridge down with a monogramed Zippo.

2 comments:

Richard said...

Holy crap that's awesome!

If only because its kind of always been a dream of mine to end a conversation or exit and awkward situation by cackling and diving headlong out a window to safety.

vjdutton said...

I know! And the fact that he grabbed two beers on the way out just takes it to a whole new level of glory.