TOP 5 THINGS YOU SHOULDN'T DO IN A MINIVAN

So-
I woke up this morning, poured myself a cup of coffee in my favorite pink Moomintroll mug and sat down to read this article:

CORPSE DISAPPEARS WHEN MINIVAN IS TOWED

Now that's pretty disturbing.
But why doesn't this funeral director have a proper hearse? There's no respect for tradition these days. It seems completely inappropriate that you can just cart corpses around in any old vehicle with a laminated sign stuck to the windshield. Especially a minivan for fuck's sake. I'd even back a new law preventing this from shit from happening again.

Then I started to think about other activities that are best not done in a minivan. I came up with this list:

1. Going to the Oscars with Jack Nicholson

2. Tantric Yoga Sex

3. Transporting Promiscuous Koalas

4. Fleeing the Law and Gunning it Across the State Line

5. Pulling Up to the Playboy Mansion

Any others?