The chronicles of CNN's boot camp known as The VJ Program. We Peon Warriors began meeting here to share humiliating and humorous stories about early encounters with CNN anchors, directors, producers and brutal cafeteria employees. We divulged what it was like to be broke, foolish and referred to not by name but by function. And while we've moved on in life...the inner Peon still remains.
Check it, Peons: Your CNN Humiliation Compartmentalized
Thursday, November 11, 2010
THE TUBEROUS BUSHCRICKET HAS SERIOUS COJONES
Fellow Peons, I was not prepared for this news. No, I never thought I'd be penning an ode to the Tuberous Bushcricket. Yet here I am, clacking away. You see, according to the AFP, this little species of bushcricket has the biggest balls of any creature in the whole world!
Now, some of you out there might be thinking, "No fucking way, man. My goolies are way bigger than that little fucker's nutsack."
But you'd be wrong. Dead wrong. Because this Testicle Titan drags around a set of stones that are 13.8 percent of his body mass. That's like your sorry cock nestled in between two tires weighing 22 pounds each.
So today when you're stuck in traffic or an elevator in which Ned from Accounting just unleashed a toxic fart, remember the Tuberous Bushcricket, and realize your troubles are very small in comparison.
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