NUDIST CAMPS OF OHIO

So-
I've been making mischief in the Youngstown, Ohio area for the past few days. I swam, bought a pair of Pittsburgh Steelers socks, ate plenty of Italian food and...learned about nudist camps in the region. I was especially interested because a pal of mine mentioned that one of her professors at Youngstown State University told her about a Nudist Camp in BEAVER CREEK.

Yeah.
You heard me.
THE BEAVER CREEK NUDIST CAMP.

You can imagine how much I loved that.
Better yet, she said some nudists parachute into the camp ground wearing nothing but a pair of boots and a parachute.
Naturally, I was compelled to do my own research. And while I never found info about Beaver Creek, I did stumble across a treasure trove of other nude ranches:

ASSORTED NUDIST CAMPS OF OHIO

Looking through all of them, I was especially delighted with the "activities" section. Perhaps delighted is the wrong word. More like astonished. Try picturing people engaging in these activities buck naked:

1. Badminton

2. Volleyball

3. Shuffleboard

4. Pétanque (I have no idea what this is. If I had to guess, I'd say it's a rigorous discussion of French Existentialism.)

5. Canoe Trips

6. Table Tennis

7. Darts

8. Air Hockey

9. Frisbee

And finally, the common denominator at almost every single one of these nudist resorts...

10. HORSESHOES

No joke! Horseshoes! Why are Ohio nudists so obsessed with horseshoes? What's so alluring about playing horseshoes with your cock hanging out? Do they have different rules that I don't know about?

I hate to say this, but I'm sensing the need for another one of my investigative journalism adventures...