Thursday, January 17, 2008
Due to sheer linguistic laziness, there are several expressions that have been overused to the point of parody. Now the only way these expressions can be uttered is in jest. But the problem is that even in jest they are stale. These are often the "go to" office witticisms. When someone uses them, I want to leap up, grab the nearest stapler and staple their ass shut.
Why the ass and not the mouth? Because this would serve two purposes:
A. They'd stop trying to be funny, as they'd be in pain
B. Seeing a stapled ass (possibly encased in Dockers) would actually make me laugh, unlike their recycled humor
Some of these offending expressions include:
1. "I don't even KNOW you anymore."
2. "How's that workin' for ya?" (Okay-this one is purely Dr. Phil's fault.)
3. "I LOVE you, man."
4. "I just need some ME time, you know?"
5. "If I told you, I'd have to kill you." (People who still think this is funny should be shot, then have their asses stapled shut.)
6. "You're DEAD to me!"
7. "You ROCK!"
Any others? I know I'm missing quite a few irritants...