Wednesday, December 09, 2009
10 WOMEN WHO HAVE PROBABLY NOT HAD SEX WITH TIGER WOODS
I present you with a list of women that I'm reasonably sure Tiger Woods has not slept with.
It's not a long list.
But it's what I came up with.
And of course, I could be mistaken...
1. Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg
2. TV Personality Barbara Walters
3. That Duggar woman in Arkansas with 18 going on 19 kids whose vagina is probably so cavernous that it: a) has an echo and b) could provide a safe haven for illegal immigrants. Alert Lou Dobbs.
5. Rae Dawn Chong (Because he'd have to find her first. Honestly. Where has she been?)
6. French Canadian power balladeer Celine Dion
7. Dog the Bounty Hunter's Buxom Ex-wife
8. Famed CNN Cafeteria Hashslinger Roz
9. Judge Judy
10. Southern Cooking Personality/Flying Ham Victim Paula Deen
Did I miss anyone? Raise your hands.