Check it, Peons: Your CNN Humiliation Compartmentalized

Thursday, December 17, 2009


Don't ask why, but I went down a winding path of nostalgia yesterday that wound up at Scratch n' Sniff stickers.
Then I found the above photo. It surprised me. Because I don't recall them making Scratch n' Sniff stickers scented like crabs, footballs and smelly sneakers. Must have blocked that out.
In case these stickers are revived for a new generation, might I suggest the top 10 worst potential scents for Scratch n' Sniff stickers. Avoid these aromas at all costs:

1. Any communal phone in any newsroom. No amount of antiseptic wipes can knock out that nasty funk.

2. Rolling Stone Keith Richards' morning breath

3. A fart on an airplane

4. Microwaved tuna

5. The hallway in my building on a Thursday night. Some neighbor has decided that's the night to explore culinary treats plagued with waaaaay too many onions.

6. Port Authority, NYC

7. The third bathroom stall at my gym

8. An Irish pub just after last call and the lights come on

9. CNN's Hard News Cafe Brunswick Stew

10. Flop sweat during the 3rd hour of the Academy Awards broadcast. It has to smell in the Kodak Theatre at that point, right? With a roomful of losers? (Yeah yeah, it's an honor just to be nominated...)


Anonymous said...

#3 should read "Larry King's farts on an airplane"

vjdutton said...

Ryan Seacrest, there's no need to hide behind the Anonymous label. We know it's you.

Ryan Seacrest said...


Roz said...

Don't you talk 'bout my Brunswick stew like dat.