Check it, Peons: Your CNN Humiliation Compartmentalized

Tuesday, June 15, 2010


I have a bit of experience in purchasing second hand items. In fact, second hand books are cooler in some ways. You might see that the previous owner underlined certain phrases and wonder what kind of person they were. Of course, you occasionally wonder what that disgusting green glob is on page 152.
Which brings me to this story from the Associated Press:

Woman Received Lungs of a 30-year Smoker

LONDON – The family of a 28-year-old British woman who unknowingly received a lung transplant from a smoker says she would have been "horrified" and have lodged a complaint.
Cystic fibrosis sufferer Lyndsey Scott in February received a double lung transplant from a donor who had smoked for three decades. She died in July of pneumonia.
Britain's top transplant official Chris Rudge defended the decision and said patients should be told they are not getting a "brand new" organ. He said on the BBC that "lungs from a smoker can be working perfectly normally."

Now, I think this transplant official is kind of a prick. Of course this patient knew she wasn't getting a "brand new" organ.
It's not like they stock new lungs at your local Target.
But getting this particular set of lungs is a bit like getting Pamela Anderson's used vagina.

The bottom line is:
If you're getting something used, it's best if it's "gently used", to use a vintage clothing term.
It seems to me there ought to be a Kelley Blue Book for second hand organs.


Anonymous said...

can u picture kid rock writing his blu book about pam? 2 funny.

vjdutton said...

Anonymous, first things first:
I'm an asshole.
Now that we've clarified that:
Is it really so hard to spell out the words "you" and "too"? And is it so difficult to add an "e" to "blue"?
Yeah, I sound like an old fart.
But this type of shit seriously gets on my nerves. Not that I'm Shakespeare, but you're pissing all over the English language. And I don't care if you're typing from a Blackberry:
Have some respect for the English language.
Technology should not dictate your prose.
At least not here, where I have something to say about it.

LAZ said...

I'll ignore the grammatical dalliances of Anon, only because I've not got my Strunk & White's "Elements of Style" handy and I think VJD's got it covered.

As for the lungs...
I think the patient's family should shut the fuck up.
Would they have preferred that their daughter die from being unable to breathe rather than have transplanted lungs, used gently or fucked by a rhino?
Who cares?
If the doctors say the lungs she's getting are better than those she had... would they prefer to wait until the family tree of the donor lungs can be fully sourced?

If I was waiting for a liver transplant, and my options were Keith Richards’ liver or death…
I’m going with the badass rocker lifestyle, hard drinking, drug abusing, limey bastard’s viscera.

How to put this more succinctly?
Breathing = Life
Not Breathing = Death


Most people are morons and should be left to die.

vjdutton said...

An excellent argument LAZ, with damn fine grammar too. Just how I like it.