Check it, Peons: Your CNN Humiliation Compartmentalized

Thursday, June 03, 2010


Every year around this time I start the hunt for a Father's Day card suitable for my father. Yes, I have to start this early because it is such a pain in the ass. They're all illustrated with pictures of tools, golf, barbecues or fishing poles (none of which applies to my father.) Worse, they all have sappy inscriptions like,
Dad, you've taught me how to live, share and love. You're the best dad I could ever ask for.

Dad, you're wise and caring. My love for you grows every year. Thanks for always being there for me.

Dad, you're my hero.


And listen, I love my dad. I love him for the person he is, not for who I wanted him to be. It took me a while to figure that out.

So all I want is a card that says, "Well, tried."

Yeah, I could just write it myself. But it would be oddly reassuring to know that someone at Hallmark felt the same way.


Anonymous said...

I want one that say "I know you did the best you could, and I love you." There's a whole generation of us that could use cards like this!

vjdutton said...

Anonymous, are you sure we're not related? That one sounds perfect! Hallmark, if you're reading this-you've got a whole untapped market here!