Check it, Peons: Your CNN Humiliation Compartmentalized

Tuesday, October 31, 2006


In honor of Halloween, here's a list of some of the scariest things I ever witnessed or heard about within the spooky confines of CNN:

1.)The massive blob of ear wax on James Brown's earpiece after he removed it from his ear. Rather than clean off the toxic goo, the audio guy simply tossed it out.

2.) A particularly horrid green velvet jacket worn by a CNNI anchor who later tried to sue CNN for not renewing her contract. I say The Defense should have used that suit as Exhibit A.

3.) The weird stains covering the sofa in the breakroom.

4.) The horrific sounds coming from a Hard News Cafe employee in the bathroom stall next to me ("") as she was clearly taking a problematic dump.

5.) The bubbling Brunswick stew from the Hard News Cafe, which more than likely caused the problematic dump.

6.) The terror of trying to coil Valerie Voss The Weather Boss's camera cables in the proper figure 8 formation.

7.) The mouse I found upon opening a cupboard in the CNNI breakroom.

8.) The mouse's friends throughout CNN.

9.) The creepy bottom level of the parking decks.

10.) A disturbing entry in Read-Me in which some jackass raved about being "enchanted" by The Riverdance.

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