Check it, Peons: Your CNN Humiliation Compartmentalized

Monday, November 06, 2006


I was out with a CNNer the other night who shall remain nameless, and we were discussing the current state of CNN.
We came to this conclusion:
CNN needs another Ted Turner.
At his best, Ted truly understood how to work the media. Sure he often put his foot in his mouth. But he was "The Mouth from The South". That was his schtick. Even when he said inflammatory things, it usually worked for his whole image of slightly crazed but business-savvy media mogul. It even benefitted the image of CNN as some scrappy cable network. Plus the on-going battle between Ted and Rupert Murdoch was pure PR gold. Who doesn't love a good war between titans? Hell, we even love wars between d-list celebrities and bottle blonde heiresses.
But more than anything, Ted Turner was a character who loomed large on the world stage.
He was a true mogul in the larger-than-life, Richard Branson, Donald Trump mold.
I for one miss that.
Some people praise CNN's current quiet, unassuming, non-confrontational, non-spotlight seeking leadership.
Fuck that.
Bring back a guy with a booming voice who grabs the world by the balls, swings it around a few times and then shoots a bison to roast over a spit and eat for dinner.

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