Check it, Peons: Your CNN Humiliation Compartmentalized

Monday, November 13, 2006


I love how in this media-savvy age, when people know more and more about the nature of broadcast news, and reality TV blurs the line between acting and real life, some anchors continue to use the same stupid, phony expressions portrayed above.
Note that I have obscured my fellow VJ's mug with Sesame Street characters, as he is now doing quite well for himself at CNN, and may not want pics of him goofing off with me plastered for all the world (okay...for the four of you who read this blog) to see. Plus, I imagine association with the likes of my irreverent self is not good for one's career trajectory within the company. Well, that and I'm not gonna lie...I love Sesame Street.
So, the above anchor expressions can be described as:

This expression is generally reserved for stories involving war, nursing home abuse, interviewing brilliant scientists or economists whom the anchor doesn't actually understand and isn't actually listening to, homicides achieved through creative misuse of power tools, and despotic rulers of Third World countries. The look used when discussing missing children is the same, but with a touch more "compassion".

This expression is often employed during bump shots when the audio person brings the music up full and the camera pulls out, revealing the studio as the viewer is whisked away to commercial break. Obviously, it can only be used after lighter stories involving heroic cats and dogs, the tomato throwing festival in Spain, and Star Trek conventions. It is meant to convey comaraderie between the anchors, and show the viewers at home how much fun the news is:
"Hee hee! What a zany, good-time place CNN is! I've just pissed my pants from laughing at the nimble wit of my co-anchor."

Of course, when bumping out after serious stories, refer to the expression in the first picture. But do it as you look down at the desk and throw in a concerned, deliberate shuffling of unread scripts.

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