Check it, Peons: Your CNN Humiliation Compartmentalized

Tuesday, June 17, 2008


So, I've been reading a few articles implying that George Bush's stimulus check strategy has not exactly been the economic lubricant he'd visualized. Far from flooding the malls with their Bush lucre, Americans seem to be spending this money on necessities like food and gas. New York Senator Chuck Schumer even said,

"It's galling to think that taxpayers' stimulus checks will be lining the pockets of OPEC. The sad truth is that the average American family will spend almost their entire stimulus check on higher gas prices this year."

Well Chuck, that may be. But I've heard of at least one American who is spending his stimulus check in a way that would make our forefathers proud...

While at work yesterday, a co-worker burst into the room all aglow. "I finally got my stimulus check!" he announced with Rocky-style fists in the air. "I'm headin' to Chinatown tomorrow night for a massage. There's this unbelievable woman there who gives a happy ending that makes you cum like a mother fucker."

Now that's what I call economic stimulus. With one government check President George Bush has provided a hard working young man with a hand job and a masseuse/hooker with a few extra bucks for her next Valtrex prescription. This is Trickle Down Economics at it's finest.

Uncle Sam, I salute you.

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