Check it, Peons: Your CNN Humiliation Compartmentalized

Thursday, January 27, 2011

BURIED COMMENT: MASTURBATORY MEMORIES


Sometimes I'll get an email telling me that a reader has left a comment on an ancient post.
It's kind of interesting to see what people were searching for in order to find a post that is months or sometimes years old.

Case in point, I recently received a fascinating comment on a moldy post called, "SUSAN ROOK: THE NEW HERB RITTS". Now, you don't have to thank me for this. But when someone named "Mr. Volcher" offers up this charming run on sentence, I refuse to let it languish:
I used to watch Talk Back Live everyday on CNN just to Masturbate when Susan was on does anyone have an address for her

Let's just break this down, shall we?

1. I love how he capitalized "Masturbate". This was no lower case masturbation session. Hell no! When a dedicated viewer like Mr. Volcher is rubbing one out to Susan Rook, it deserves the respect of a capital "M".

2. I love how he refers to himself as "Mr. Volcher". Because despite the fact that he is sharing his historical masturbatory habits with us, we have not been formally introduced. Ergo, we are not on a first name basis. That's a true sign of class, right there.

3. Finally, I really love that he thinks one of us is going to cough up Susan Rook's address for him. Why else do I write this blog, other than to provide Susan Rook's address for the likes of Mr. Volcher? Because while I have no idea where she lives or how she spends her free time, I guarantee she's missing something in her life...

And that something is a grammar challenged Masturbator named Mr. Volcher.

4 comments:

DF said...

If we're going by the Chyron on that photo, Susan Rook looks like a dude.

vjdutton said...

That's nothing. Someone once told me they worked on a show where a guest who did not want to show his face, who did the interview in the dark was nonetheless given a Chyron with his full name.

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