SAN GENNARO FESTIVAL THREATENED BY SNOBBY BOUTIQUES

Alright.
This is the last fucking straw. (Or should I say cannoli.)
I just read this: SAN GENNARO FESTIVAL UNDER ASSAULT

So these upscale boutique owners who set up shop waaay after the San Gennaro Festival began 85 years ago now think they have the right to push people out. They knew damn well that this festival is a tradition in Little Italy. Both tourists and locals look forward to it each year. It's a New York institution. Fuck these bastards for trying to squash it to sell their overpriced bullshit. And yes, I know. They just want to limit the festival to Kenmare Street. But that's where it starts. They'll probably keep pushing it back more and more until it's just one guy selling sausages for one hour on a Saturday.

We have enough frou frou boutiques selling stupid handbags in this town. There's only one Little Italy, and it's shrinking by the year.

And this is a trend I'm seeing across NYC. People move into areas renowned for nightlife then get pissed off because the bars are too loud. YOU'RE LIVING IN THE LOWER EAST SIDE, ASSHOLES! The bars, barflies and denizens of the night were there first.

Honestly.

It's like people want to turn this town into one big, boring gated community. I'm tempted to open up a bar called "The Clubhouse" and model it after a Florida retirement community. We'll play canasta, serve Sanka and sway to a little Perry Como.

Of course, I bet the neighbors would find fault with that too. I can just hear the complaint to 311 now:

"Hello? Yeah. I'd like to register a complaint. The people at The Clubhouse are swaying too loud."