I YAM WHAT I YAM!

Hey everyone!
Sorry I've been neglecting you this week.
(Yeah, I'm sure you've been crying into your keyboards.)

I've been working on a long form piece and focusing all my free time and attention on it.
You'll be happy to know that it's completed!
(Yeah, I'm sure you're leaping up and down in sheer joy.)

Well, I'm happy. And here's the photographic evidence. I designed this ultra-sexy item of clothing myself.
It's called, "Turquoise Sparkle Hoodie With Popeye Sewn On The Right Tit".

I don't do any of the sewing when I design something. Luckily, there is an incredible Japanese tailor just up the street.
Honestly, this man is extraordinary. I bring him the most bizarre shit and he always understands what I'm going for.
His English isn't perfect, but we speak in dated pop cultural references.

Once I brought him a sequined jacket and wanted feathers sewn on the cuffs. He just said, "Oh. Like Liza Minnelli!"
Another time I wanted him to rip the sleeves off a dress and cut open the front. He just said, "Oh. Like Bea Arthur!"

For this Popeye hoodie, he didn't have a dated pop cultural reference. He just said, "Oh. That's fancy!"

"Yes it is," I said. "Yes it is."