Check it, Peons: Your CNN Humiliation Compartmentalized

Wednesday, March 02, 2011


Here at Peon Confidential, we love unsubstantiated rumors.
And have I got a juicy one for you today.
But here's the thing. I don't care if this rumor is true.
It's almost funnier if someone took the time to make up such an elaborate lie, told it to another Peon, who whispered it to another Peon over a decade later, who then messaged me about it last week.
It's beautiful.
So I'm going to go ahead and tell this heartwarming story of One Noble Peon's Uprising in pictures...

It seems that circa 1998, a beleaguered, downtrodden CNN VJ was floor directing for this anchor:

And according to our trusted, anonymous source, this anchor was in a foul mood. He demanded that the VJ get him a glass of water:

But this anchor wasn't exactly polite with his request. One might say he "snapped" or "barked" at the VJ to get him some water.
This was not smart on his part:

Because he clearly had no idea what a Peon making $20,000 a year is capable of once they totally snap under the weight of drudgery and daily humiliation.
This VJ did in fact get him the water.
Going above and beyond the call of duty, exceeding expectations, if you will...he even took the time to season it in his own special way--by dunking his entire nut sack in the cup. Yes, that's right. He tea bagged this anchor's cup of water.
And just to be sure the flavor was properly mixed, he put his schlong/dong/weiner (fill in your favorite slang word for penis) in there too and swirled it around:

He then presented it to:

And then this VJ performed his floor directing duties, thoroughly enjoying watching this rude anchor sip that delicious glass of Cock and Ball Water throughout the entire news program.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I hear Lou is running for office in Arizona.