Friday, March 04, 2011
RONALD MCDONALD ON SKID ROW
Will this economic nightmare ever end?
It appears no one is safe...including Ronald McDonald.
Yes, according to Bloomberg news, Ronald McDonald will be joining the Hamburgler, Mayor McCheese, Grimace and the Fry Guys on the unemployment line.
This is a travesty. After 48 years of service, Ronald McDonald is getting the boot. Apparently, he does not "deserve a break today". And he is most certainly not "Lovin' it." Did they pay off Mr. McDonald with a Golden Parachute deal when they terminated him? After all--he has been privy to top level business secrets. He must know what goes into the Special Sauce.
But out of respect for an American icon, I'm offering Ronald McDonald a few ideas for the next stage of his professional life.
FIVE NEW JOB OPPORTUNITIES FOR RONALD MCDONALD
1. Milking cows on his relative "Old" McDonald's farm.
2. Clown Porn. First movie title: "Snatch Adams"
3. Singing back up for his relative and former Doobie Brother, Michael McDonald
4. Fishmonger, Herpetologist or Shopping Cart Wrangler at Kmart
5. Publish a tell all book and hit the talk show circuit. Book title: "The Red Wig of Courage"