Check it, Peons: Your CNN Humiliation Compartmentalized

Thursday, April 26, 2007


While this blog is generally a useless montage of crass fart jokes, Dockers insults, pubic hair sightings, Bigfoot tracking, stories of masturbating tresspassers, bad ass fuckin' turkeys and VJ shame, we did manage to do something worthwhile. I received another e-mail from my favorite student at the University of Michigan. He said thanks for all your input on the VJ program. Moreover, he's going to give it a shot! We've managed to convince him, despite our bitching and wacky, humiliating memories, to apply for CNN peonhood. I think applause is in order. You've helped inspire someone to head to Atlanta, don those uncomfortable head sets, risk paper cuts while delivering scripts, scrape by on whatever shitty salary they're offering now and enter into the big, crazy world of the original Cable News Network.

Buried at the end of "The Peon Life: Calling All Advisors" responses, he also asked if any of you knew any CNN recruiters. Naturally, someone responded that the only recruiter they knew was Roz, but she had left. I told him I was pretty sure it is an online process. But if anyone has any other ideas, please post 'em.
You might as well take this opportunity to do something useful on this blog. It is probably the very last time it will happen.
That's right:
Today you can help a bright young man on his career path.
Tomorrow, it's back to the meaningless crap you've come to expect here on Peon Confidential.


DF said...

It is an on-line process, unfortunately. If you go to and search for jobs under "Turner Broadcasting," you will find available positions.

Even if you know someone at CNN, you still have to apply on line. Your resume could be in the HR person's hand, but you still have to apply on-line. Legally, it's a way to give everyone the same opportunity.

vjdutton said...

Thank you DF!
That was a professional, useful, and smart answer.
Now, in keeping with today's student theme, but getting back to Peon Confidential standards, here's an educational fart joke:

Two medical students were wandering along the street when they saw an old man walking with his legs spread far apart. One of the students said to his friend:
"I'm sure he has Petry Syndrome - those people walk just like that."
The other student says:
"No, I don't think so. That old timer has Zovitzki Syndrome, he walks just like we learned in class."

Since they couldn't agree they decided to ask the old man. They approached him and one of the students said:
"We're medical students and couldn't ignore the way you walk. But we couldn't agree on the syndrome you might have. Could you tell us what it is?"
The old man said:
"I'll tell you but first you'll tell me what you think."
One of the students said:
"I think it's Petry Syndrome."
And the old man said:
"You thought, but you're wrong."
Then the other student said:
"I think you have Zovitzki Syndrome."
And the old man said:
"You thought, but you're wrong."
So they asked him:
"Well then, what do what do you have?"
And the old man said:
"I thought I needed to fart. I thought, but I was wrong."