The chronicles of CNN's boot camp known as The VJ Program. We Peon Warriors began meeting here to share humiliating and humorous stories about early encounters with CNN anchors, directors, producers and brutal cafeteria employees. We divulged what it was like to be broke, foolish and referred to not by name but by function. And while we've moved on in life...the inner Peon still remains.
Check it, Peons: Your CNN Humiliation Compartmentalized
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
CRIMINAL GNOMES
The story I'm about to entrall you with intrigued me because I have a garden gnome named Larry on my terrace. He's a pretty cool fellow, and does an admirable job of keeping an eye on the place. But some gnomes are not so civic minded. According to The Associated Press, some have taken to a life of crime:
It seems that during a routine check of international mail on June 10, an Australian customs officer discovered two snakes and three lizards stuffed inside three garden gnomes in a shipment from Britain. It is against Australian law to bring live reptiles into the country without a license. No one was arrested over this bizarre incident, but customs said its investigation was continuing.
I had no idea garden gnomes were so shady. But in light of this new found information, here's a list of possible garden gnome gangster names:
1.) Randy "Little Smuggler" O'Mally
2.) Guido "Giant Balls" Gigante
3.) Carlos "Red Cap" Fuentes
4.) Norm "Gnominator" Smalls
5.) Larry
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2 comments:
My grandma used to have a couple gnomes, and I never liked the shifty way they would check me out. Now I know why.
Larry's a dick, and a lazy one at that. When are you going to wise up and kick his ass off the terrace?
F*cking Prick.
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