Check it, Peons: Your CNN Humiliation Compartmentalized

Tuesday, June 19, 2007


The story I'm about to entrall you with intrigued me because I have a garden gnome named Larry on my terrace. He's a pretty cool fellow, and does an admirable job of keeping an eye on the place. But some gnomes are not so civic minded. According to The Associated Press, some have taken to a life of crime:
It seems that during a routine check of international mail on June 10, an Australian customs officer discovered two snakes and three lizards stuffed inside three garden gnomes in a shipment from Britain. It is against Australian law to bring live reptiles into the country without a license. No one was arrested over this bizarre incident, but customs said its investigation was continuing.

I had no idea garden gnomes were so shady. But in light of this new found information, here's a list of possible garden gnome gangster names:

1.) Randy "Little Smuggler" O'Mally
2.) Guido "Giant Balls" Gigante
3.) Carlos "Red Cap" Fuentes
4.) Norm "Gnominator" Smalls
5.) Larry


Anonymous said...

My grandma used to have a couple gnomes, and I never liked the shifty way they would check me out. Now I know why.

Anonymous said...

Larry's a dick, and a lazy one at that. When are you going to wise up and kick his ass off the terrace?

F*cking Prick.