Friday, December 28, 2007
5 WORST TV THEMES OF ALL TIME
I'd like to begin by promising that you will all get your George Jefferson strut as soon as I can figure out how to work the camera feature on this new fangled computer here.
But until then-
In the last post, I celebrated my winter friend TV. Today, I point out TV's flaws. Unlike Barbra Streisand's "Prince of Tides" manicure, Burt Reynold's circa 1982 mustache or Clay Aiken's heterosexual tendencies, TV is not perfect.
Some theme songs are an abomination. Take these for example:
1. FULL HOUSE
I fucking HATE this show. This was the worst show OF ALL TIME. And yes, I'm including both "She's the Sheriff" And "Cop Rock" when I make this assessment. (And in all honesty, COP ROCK was kind of cool.)
But this anal wart of a show was rancid. Horrible. Horrible. Horrible.
Every episode went something like this:
Uncle Jessie: Michelle, girls can do anything boys can do/You're special/It's okay if you made wee wee in my guitar.
Interchangeable Olsen Twin: (Making Fonzie thumb) You're cool, dude.
Cue laugh/AAAWWWWW track.
2. PERFECT STRANGERS
Why does your nose look like a penis?
3. PUNKY BREWSTER
Annoying pussy singer. I'm picturing him living in an apartment with too many ferns. Wow. Ferns are such 80's plants. No one has ferns in their home anymore, do they?
Who decided that smooth jazz=creepy alien puppet?
I always hated this damn song. That clapping bit makes me want to rhythmically fart on all of the actors.
Anyone want to defend these theme songs? Or add to this tragic list?