Check it, Peons: Your CNN Humiliation Compartmentalized

Friday, December 14, 2007


I'd like to thank the person who posted about her "tweenie". If I could, I'd buy you a drink. So consider this a virtual toast to you.
For a while now, I've been asking any women I know if their mothers told them "you have to let the vagina breathe." I am amazed at how widespread this adage is, and how each mom puts her own spin on it:

MY FINNISH MOM: "Saara, don't wear panties to bed. The piiko needs to breathe." (And no, "piiko" isn't actually a Finnish word. No one knows where it came from. But this doesn't stop my mom from using it.)

MY OHIO FRIEND'S MOM: "Honey, you have to air it out. You'll get twat rot."

MY JEWISH FRIEND'S MOM: "Bubbulah, the vagina is like fine wine. It has to breathe."

MY TRINIDADIAN FRIEND'S MOM: "Let a little breeze into your tun tun." (Not sure if I spelled that right.)

MY NEW ORLEANIAN FRIEND'S MOM: "Boo, respect your area and let some air in."


Anonymous said...

Tweenie, I too salute you.

My question is this. Who was the first person to spread the gospel of open-air tweenies?

Tweenie Historian said...

No one knows who the first person was, but we know it wasn't Lynn Spears.