Wednesday, December 05, 2007
CRAP CNN HOLIDAY GIFT SELECTION
Last night I invited another CNN refugee over for dinner, and the subject of CNN holiday gift selections came up...
Okay, so dinner parties at my place aren't exactly overflowing with Oscar Wilde-style bon mots or rigorous political discussion.
Yeah, I know. So what?
If you don't like it, screw you. You weren't invited anyway.
But you all remember this shitty gift situation don't you?
Like some twisted corporate version of the Sears Catalog, CNN Peons were offered the option of one nasty ass gift from a truly horrid selection, all embossed with the Turner logo. This was in lieu of a bonus. And when you received it, the gift was inevitably even worse than the description implied. How cheap can one company get?
The ones we remembered were:
1. The poly-blend Turner blanket, meant to serve as a picnic blanket, or perhaps to use as an ass warmer at a football game. I believe I selected this one, picturing myself enjoying a delightful picnic with my boyfriend by the lake. We'd laugh, drink wine, smile at small children and cute dogs and eat delicious fruits and cheeses...yeah. The one time I used it was to pack and protect my collection of hideous K-Mart dishes when I moved across the country.
2. The lovely Turner "picnic backpack". What better way to announce to the world;
"I'm a twat. I work at CNN. And I like potato salad."
3. The beautiful Turner anorak. What better way to announce to the world;
"I'm a twat. I work at CNN. And I wear clothes merely to prevent myself from being naked, for I have no taste."
Does anyone remember some of the other options? What did you choose?