Check it, Peons: Your CNN Humiliation Compartmentalized

Wednesday, December 26, 2007


In the winter months, TV is my friend. TV is right here. I do not have to find a cab in the snow and sleet, battle subway crowds or buy a bottle of wine to present as a hostess gift. TV demands nothing of me.
In celebration of my winter friend, I have compiled my all time favorite TV themes. These are in no particular order:

I'd also like to point out that I can do a mean George Jefferson walk. Perhaps I will incorporate this into my elf shtick at the Elf Academy.

Pure, sweet 70's wonk.

Shitty show, brilliant theme song. A favorite of mine when singing in the shower.

Now, I rarely actually get to watch this show, as it doesn't appear to be in heavy TV Land rerun rotation. But oh, that Maude with her flowy vests and bitchy liberal diatribes...

Mostly because this tune includes the lyrics "In her satin tights, fightin' for your rights, and the red white and blue--WONDER WOOOMAAAN!"


Did I miss any good ones?


DY-NO-MITE! said...

Shame on you!
How could you not include Good Times?

Theme Song Junkie said...

OH this is SOOO up my alley!

- Cheers, "Where Everybody Knows Your Name". My favorite, #1 best theme song of all time pick! The hands-down, best song choice for that show.

- The theme from Hill Stree Blues.

- The theme from Miami Vice.

- Bosom Buddies, "My Life". Gotta love Tom Hanks in drag.

- Growing Pains,"As Long as We Got Each Other". Long live Boner!

- Who's The Boss, "Brand New Life". Ay oh, oh ay!

- The Facts of Life, "The Facts of Life Theme Song" aka "You take the good, you take the bad..." I loved when Tootie rolled in on her skates.

- Diff'rent Strokes, "Diff'rent Strokes Theme Song." My brother and I used to pretend that we were doing swimming strokes during the song. There we were, doing the backstroke and breaststroke during the theme. Get it? Different Strokes? Odd, I know.

-The Office. It's my ringtone right now. Love it.

And, finally -

- I love the M*A*S*H theme song, "Suicide is Painless". It is somehow so fitting for that show. And, once again, my brother and I 'did' something relating to that song. At the very beginning, you see a quick glimpse of Radar's head at the bottom of the screen. The first person to say, "Radar's head" was the winner. What did we win? Nothing. Just the glory of being first.

I could go on and on!!!

Anonymous said...


"goils were goils and men were men.."

Loni Anderson's Tight Sweater said...

Does anyone know the name of the WKRP song that played when the show was over? Not the main song, but that rockin' song they played afterwards. I used to do air guitar to that when I was a kid.

Theme Song Junkie said...

IMDB says -

About WKRP: The ending theme song, a cool little rock ditty, was done by a group of studio musicians in Atlanta, GA. The words are unintelligible for a very simple reason -- there are no words! The vocal was basically a "scratch" track, i.e., a vocal track recorded solely to help the musicians and the show's producers get a feel for the song and the lyric melody. But the producers liked it as is, and it was never changed, so there aren't any words, just meaningless gibberish!

Anonymous said...

Three's Company! Now that is theme song genius.

VJ Dutton, perhaps you and your future fellow elves can form a choir and belt out these songs of merriment. Maybe even a congo line choir?

Lastly, and as a Christmas gift to all Peon Confidential readers, please video tape yourself doing your best George Jefferson and post immediately. Don't disappoint your fans and devout readers. We'll be waiting.

Loni Anderson's Tight Sweater said...

Thanks theme song junkie!
I remember making up my own lyrics to that song. I think they went something like "Went to the store an uh ah nuh uh oh, and I really wanna uh nuh uh oh."
And I second the last poster. Vj Dutton, put up or shut up. Give us some George Jefferson swagger.

vjdutton said...

I started this blog because:
A. I like to write
B. I wanted to reconnect with past CNN peons.
As a direct consequence of these two factors, I am being peer pressured into recording my George Jefferson strut for all to see. Even nuns in Bulgaria will have access.
This world is a strange place.
Stay tuned.

sherman hemsley said...

This better be a full-on, arm- swingin, booty shakin strut. Don't let me down, honkey!

mr. bentley said...

I do say vjDutton...where might that cheeky video be?

The Hoff said...

What? No one mentioned "Knight Rider"?

inner circle said...

Hey mon...what about our song, mon? Ain' nobody gettin arrested wit out singin bout da "Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do when dey come for you?"

raymond babbit said...

Yeah.... Wapner.... definitely time for Wapner... time... definitely time... yeah... defin... definitely time for Wapner.

a former audio-spud said...

Anything written by Mike Post. Wait... I forgot... he also wrote the theme to "Blossom" and "The Greatest American Hero". Ok... so the guy's allowed to tank a couple. But "The Rockford Files", "The A-Team" and "Magnum, P.I." make up for it.

serm said...

the magnum theme was actually a top 40 hit, for a short time, in 1982.