Check it, Peons: Your CNN Humiliation Compartmentalized

Monday, April 28, 2008

LANA SHIELDS: GODMOTHER OF ALL COUGARS




So-
I was watching a little Three's Company yesterday, since it was a rainy Sunday and...what?
Oh please. I don't have to explain anything to you people.
Anyway, I was struck by a profound notion:
Lana Shields, the over-sexed, on-the-prowl divorcee who moved into the gang's Santa Monica building during the 1979 season was perhaps first cougar ever depicted on the small screen.
Actress Ann Wedgeworth played her as a sultry minx whose attempts to ensnare Jack in her web of ripe sexuality were routinely thwarted by the bumbling Ralph Furley.

I say Jack missed out.

Lana would probably know just how to please him as they rolled around on that multi-brown/beige/orange sofa. And while Jack's souffle burned in the kitchen, things would be gettin' even hotter in the living room as they knocked over each and every one of Janet's plants and that hideous wicker table.

2 comments:

Mr. Roper said...

Wait-but I thought Jack was gay?

Mrs. Roper said...

Come to bed, Stanley.