Check it, Peons: Your CNN Humiliation Compartmentalized

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

MY DRUGGY PAST


Just read an AP article today that completely destroys a huge part of my childhood:

NEW YORK - Drug company sales representatives will have to stop doling out coffee mugs and pens that push their products when they visit doctor's offices. But they can still sneak in the occasional free lunch.
Pharmaceutical Research and Manufacturers of America announced Thursday that it has revised its conduct code for interacting with health care professionals.
The updated guidelines ban the knicknacks bearing company and product logos.


This is tragic. Since my dad is a doctor, I cannot tell you how many of these drug company emblazoned items floated around our family homestead when I was growing up. Nearly every grocery list/diary entry/letter to granny was written with some herpes medication pen.
Aside from pens, we also received...

1. A Nerf football (Those of you who know just how amazingly athletic I am will appreciate just how much I used this.)

2. A wooden gavel (This was simply so the drug rep could deliver the line: "You be the judge.")

3. Countless mugs (Which I filled with colon blow-strength Starbucks, took to school and left in my locker until A) they became moldy and B) there were so many crammed in there that they came crashing out onto the floor.)

4. A penis statue from Viagra (Which my mother sent me in one of her infamous CARE PACKAGES and I left behind after vacating an apartment. See above photo.)

5. Tablets of paper in the shape of Anaprox pills

6. T-shirt showcasing a cheery, smiley-faced cartoon liver and the message "Be Kind To Your Liver" written on it. (The fact that my hard drinking father used to wear this item frequently was beyond ironic.)

7. Key chains

8. Several baseball caps (Who wouldn't want to advertise constipation remedies on their head?)

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I can't believe you got rid of that Viagra Penis thing.
It's beautiful.

a former audio-spud said...

Oh yes... pharmaceutical company swag. Between both my Mom and Dad, I don't think I bought a pen until I was in my mid-20's.