Check it, Peons: Your CNN Humiliation Compartmentalized

Tuesday, August 11, 2009


The truth is, I'm devastated.
People often bemoan the gentrification of New York. I've even turned the concept into a Mama D's show, and delivered a LOST NEW YORK speech about it, dressed as Mayor Mike Bloomberg.
But it really hit home the other day, when I took the above photo.
It's truly the end of an era. The demise of a trashy wonderland called FOXY LADY.

Now, I never bought a single lycra, rhinestoned, pleather, rayon, fringed, sequined, sparkly, highly flammable item from this store.
But I respected this place.
I figured with a name like that, it must have been there since the 1970's.
I imagined legions of soon to be knocked up teenagers fingering the cheap underpants for sale.
I pictured the yeast infections from the denim coochie cutters and hoochie squeezing vinyl pants.
I visualized illegally purchased beer-fueled encounters with guys at the video arcade while wearing FOXY LADY attire.

So to see that it's gone out of business makes me dab the tears from my eyes with my Lee Press On Nails.
Because this was not a chain.
It was the only "Hey Trish, what tight, sleazy, cheap outfit are we gonna wear to Barry's party on Saturday?" discount store of its kind.

And you know that there's no way another proprietor is going to move into this space and keep that name.
That name is from a bygone era. There will never be another FOXY LADY clothing store. At least not without irony.

And as I was crying into my gin and tonic about this loss, I looked up other defunct clothing stores around the nation.
Shock and horror!
No more Jay Jacob! No more Chess King! No more Merry Go Round!

Don't believe me? Take a look. I'll bet the place you bought your first pair of parachute pants is on this list:



Anonymous said...

Was the Bloomberg speech filmed? I want to see it. Or maybe there's a pic somewhere?

vjdutton said...

Er...there is a photo, but it is highly unflattering. There is footage, but it needs editing. Thus--I think you should use your imagination.