Check it, Peons: Your CNN Humiliation Compartmentalized

Friday, August 21, 2009


I was at a discount department store the other day, escaping the heat, caressing angora sweaters, when "He's So Shy" by The Pointer Sisters came over the sound system.

It put me in a trance. I was whisked back to being a kid. Saturday afternoon. Mom's cleaning. I'm helping. She's annoyed because Dad is not. This means she turns up the radio as loud as possible, just to piss him off. One of those stations that plays "The greatest hits of yesterday and today!" You know this station: it's almost impossible to tell the songs of yesterday apart from the songs of today because it's all the same non-threatening sonic slush. But it's still just kicky enough to put a swing in your step while mopping the floor. If you play any of these songs, I can almost hear the vacuum humming and smell the Pine Sol...

1. "Caribbean Queen" by Billy Ocean

2. "Sad Songs (Say So Much)" by Elton John

3. "Conga" by Gloria Estefan

4. "Breakout" by Swingout Sister

5. "I've Had The Time of My Life" by Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes (The Dirty Dancing soundtrack)

6. "Higher Love" by Steve Winwood

7. "Baby Baby" by Amy Grant

8. "Easy Lover" by Phil Collins

9. "Baby Hold On" by Eddie Money

10. "Young Turks" by Rod Stewart

BONUS: The Pointer Sisters should be in an honorary Housecleaning Soundtrack Hall of Fame because in addition to "He's So Shy", they also provided "Jump (for My Love)" "I'm So Excited" "Automatic" and The Neutron Dance". you have any songs to add?


Anonymous said...

private eyes by hall and oates

Huey Lewis And the News said...

Any of our songs will do.