So, I had a bit of a panic attack when I read that The Clermont Hotel is facing foreclosure. As those of you who live in Atlanta can testify, The Clermont Hotel is also home to the delectably seedy strip club, The Clermont Lounge. This is where Blondie, the fabulous 60-year-old stripper crushes beer cans between her tits. (She used to charge $5 per can crushing, but now with inflation it's $10.)
This club was also immortalized on Salon: BATHROOM CONFIDENTIAL. (Just go ahead and click on it. I wrote it. And yes, perhaps "immortalized" is a bit strong.)
But yesterday, I received an e-mail that calmed all my fears. I now know that this place will never go out of business. Not when hard working, inventive employees like this are on the payroll:
Last night, I had drinks with a friend from college that lives in Atlanta. She tells me that she had a friend in town and took said friend to The Clermont Lounge. Blondie was still there, BUT, now, Blondie's niece named Chandra works there. As exciting as that is, I wondered: Does Chandra smash the PBR cans w/ her tits too? Oh no, not so. Chandra puts the cans between her ass cheeks and with no help of her hands crushes the cans! So, of course, my first question was: Does she insert the can horizontally or vertically? The answer: Horizontally!
She puts the can in, taps her ass playfully, then removes her hands and with one swift unassisted ass flex, she crushes the can between the cheeks...and the can cannot be seen once it's crushed. It goes into recycle heaven between the buttocks! I'm not sure I would want that can, even if it is worth a nickel.
Seeing Chandra use her ass as a trash compactor is absolutely worth a trip to Atlanta. Who's with me?