Wednesday, May 23, 2007
So there I was, watching The History Channel and ironing my clothes. (How's that for an arresting opening sentence? I mean, why else do people move to New York, if not to experience the type roller coaster lifestyle I lead? Bet you can't wait to read what happens next...)
While the program was pretty interesting (Cities of the Underworld) I was more fascinated by the commercials they chose to run. Clearly, no one in ad sales at The History Channel assumes that somebody like me is tuned in. Why? Because back-to-back they ran ads like:
1.) Male Guards. It's like a cupped maxi pad for incontinent men. Now, I have no problem with the product of course. I'm sure it's necessary. It's just that--have you seen this ad? All these senior citizen men are gathered together; out in the wilderness, bicycling, hiking, having the time of their lives, presumably pissing their pants. The tag line, uttered in the same bombastic voice used in movie trailers booms out: "Protect yourself, guys."
3.) Cialis. These ads kill me too. So Grandpa pops a Cialis and is about to bone Grandma. But then the kids and grandkids drop in uninvited! Cut to cheery scenes of all of them eating lunch, playing in the backyard, laughing, enjoying the sunshine. Meanwhile, I'm just waiting for Grandpa to throttle one of them and bellow:
"No more ice cream, no more swing set--just when are you little shits gonna get the fuck out of here? Grandpa's got a stiffy. Now scram!"
The point is, who decided that "Cities of the Underworld" is programming geared towards incontinent men with errectile dysfunction? Are there studies taken? And how are said studies conducted? Seriously, if anyone has some answers, I'd be much obliged if you'd pass them along...