Check it, Peons: Your CNN Humiliation Compartmentalized

Thursday, May 01, 2008


I recently heard about the Flat Stanley Phenomenon.

Apparently, "students make paper Flat Stanleys and begin a journal with him for a few days. Then Flat Stanley and the journal are sent to another school where students there treat Flat Stanley as a guest and complete the journal. Flat Stanley and the journal are then returned to the original sender. Students can plot his travels on maps and share the contents of the journal. Often, a Flat Stanley returns with a pin or postcard from his visit. "

It seems that kids are now sending Flat Stanley to relatives too. It has become quite an involved process, with people packing Flat Stanley in suitcases and taking photographs of him on vacation. Flat Stanley leads a jet set life.
Recently, a Peon Confidential reader received Flat Stanley from a nephew.
This reader is the same person I traveled to Las Vegas with.
Now, what I find interesting, is that while this person has yet to send me beautiful pictures of us from the trip, I woke up this morning to find photographic evidence of Flat Stanley in front of the Bellagio fountains.

Damn Flat Stanley.
Nothing but a no good publicity hound.


Flat Stanley's Publicist said...

Flat Stanley has no comment at this time.

FlatStanley'sMom said...

Why does my Stanley look like he got his ass kicked?

Gene Simmons said...

It's the long lost member of KISS!

Anonymous said...

Don't kids steal beer, smoke pot and jerk it often as often as possible anymore? This phenomenon is more disturbing than Spandex pants on an airplane. And, that asshole Stanley has probably been to more fantastic locales than me. F U Flat Stanley!

Splat Stanley said...

A couple of weeks ago, some IDIOT woman jumped the barricades at the Capitol to get an unobstructed picture of the dome and Flat Fucking Stanley and almost got blown away by Capitol Police. My friend was doing some writing on the lower steps that day and heard an officer run by yelling into his wrist walkie, "take the shot! Needless to say, she got a stern talking to. Take the shot if you have to." Christ. Fucking tourists.