Check it, Peons: Your CNN Humiliation Compartmentalized

Thursday, August 14, 2008

RATTING YOU OUT


Sometimes things that seem practical are actually quite unappealing.
This includes wearing your cellphone on your belt, training your cat to use the toilet, reusing teabags and this idea....

PATNA, India (AFP) - Eating rats is the best way for rich and poor people to solve the global crisis of rising food prices, an Indian official said Wednesday as he unveiled his plan to put rodents on menus.

Regular rat snacks would translate into fewer rodents eating precious grain stocks -- 50 percent of which are lost in the northeastern state of Bihar every year to the animals, said Vijay Prakash, secretary of the state's welfare department.

"This will help in mitigating the global food crisis. We are sure that it will work wonders," Prakash told AFP. "It will save half our grain, and will also reduce villagers' dependence on food stock."

Prakash's plan promotes consumption of rat meat in homes, street stalls, restaurants and even international five-star hotels.

Okay, so that all makes perfect sense. Sure, it all seems quite rational until you stop and think, HOLY FUCKING SHIT THAT IS DISGUSTING.
That said, I'm offering Prakash my top 5 rat recipes:

1. Coq Au Rat
2. Rat n' beans
3. Ratloaf
4. Peking Rat
5. Split Rat Soup

Any others you'd like to offer Prakash? He's waiting...

6 comments:

Mickey Mouse said...

Rat pot pie.

Anonymous said...

Ratchelladas

Moo Goo Gai Rat

Anonymous said...

I wondered what happened to Floyd Yarmuth!

Valerie Voss said...

Good investigation on the Floyd Yarmuth tangent.
And notice how this politician's name is "VIJAY" Prakash?
I smell a CNN VJ conspiracy.

Anonymous said...

Okay, I'll say it. Ratatouille!!!

Bubba said...

Dey's uh, rat-kabobs, rat creole, rat gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There's pineapple rat, lemon rat, coconut rat, pepper rat, rat soup, rat stew, rat salad, rat and potatoes, rat burger, rat sandwich. That- that's about it.