Check it, Peons: Your CNN Humiliation Compartmentalized

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

TOP 5 WORST SMELLS IN BROADCAST NEWS


I've worked in a quite a few newsrooms, and one thing they all have in common is the occasional weird smell wafting from the break room. And people will generally continue to sit in the stink. GO OUTSIDE! Get some fresh air. It's disgusting.

Top 5 Worst Smells I've Encountered in Various Break Rooms:

1. Microwaved pussy. (Okay, it was tuna fish--but it was repulsive nonetheless.)

2. Feet. Someone removed their hiking boots and the entire room nearly passed out into their Tupperware. You could almost taste this bastard's foot sweat. I say, if you're going to remove your foul, rough-terrain-stomping footwear in a professional environment, go live out your Grizzly Adams fantasies elsewhere.

3. Sauerkraut. It was some type of breaking news day or perhaps a holiday. Regardless, it was some event that compels the higher ups to provide the drones with a free meal. Now that I think about it, it must have been the Fourth of July, hence the hot dogs. Anyway, they served the main meal in one room, then when it had all been picked over the remains were moved into the break room, in case anyone wanted to pick at it later. The remains consisted of a few buns and a massive aluminum vat of of sauerkraut. You could actually smell it on people after they went in there and came back to their desks. That stench clung to them like a needy relative. And that's what got me--the stench was all the way down the hall...why would you follow said stench in hopes of finding something edible?

News people are fucked up. And cheap. Which brings me to...

4. Cheap perfume.

5. A toxic fart that cleared the room out in 5 seconds. And as I mentioned, most newspeople don't like leaving the confines of the break room bubble, so you know it was powerful.

5 comments:

The guy that farted said...

Sorry, I tried the sauerkraut.

The Mice In the CNNI Breakroom Cupboards said...

We never noticed any stench.

Charlie Pussy, er Tuna said...

Yeah, who the eff thinks it's okay to microwave fish at work.

Anonymous said...

I think one of the smells was that girl Aya!

Vidiot said...

you're not including the time I accidentally broke a bottle of Vietnamese fish sauce in the editors' breakroom, circa 2001? (I think it was pre-9/11, else they'd have shut down the network.)