SAVORY SEMEN

A peon getting an early start on holiday shopping e-mailed yesterday to let me know what I'm getting for Christmas:
COOKING WITH SEMEN

Well, I just cannot wait to get my hands on that book. Note the charming inscription: "Like fine wine and cheeses, the taste of semen is complex and dynamic. Semen is inexpensive to produce and is commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants. Despite all of these positive qualities, semen remains neglected as a food."

We cannot sit idly by as this culinary resource continues to be shunned. I think the first recipe I'll try is the Cumin Rub, or perhaps the simple Tossed Salad.

But I think there are plenty of recipes that appear to have been left out. Maybe even enough for a follow up book.
Here are a few I came up with:

-Jamaican Jerk Chicken

-Beef Stroke-it-off

-Shrimp Cocktail

-Holiday Cum Balls

-Cock Au Vin

*Bonus Submitted by CNN Hard News Cafe Legend, Roz: Turkey Tetrajizzy