Check it, Peons: Your CNN Humiliation Compartmentalized

Thursday, March 01, 2007


There was once a rather scatterbrained VJ whom I'll refer to as Trudy the Muddled. She was very book smart, but I think all those thoughts of The English Enlightenment and 15th century Italian poetry took up all the space in her brain for making basic life decisions. Just asking her if she wanted to go out after work was a major endeavor. She'd nod vigorously and say "Oh Yes!" But then slowly shake her head, "Oh no. I" Then follow it up with "Well...uh...yes."
This same routine would take place if you asked her if she wanted to get Turkey Tetrazzini from the Hard News Cafe, sign up for Girl Scout cookies or chew a stick of gum.
I imagined her brain to be a rather fractured place, filled with unusual, often smart ideas that just needed organizational units from Ikea or The Container Store.

One day she told me this story, which illustrated two important things:
A.) her muddled thought process and B.) CNN poverty-related embarrassment:

"I went to a horse show over the weekend. It was really great. We were all standing around drinking wine and this guy comes up to me and asks if he could buy my underwear. At first I was grossed out. Then I told him I'd think about it. So I did. I thought about it for a while. I had another glass of wine. And I realized I could use the money. So I went up to him and said I'd sell him my underwear for 25 bucks. But then I realized I wasn't wearing any."

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

If it's a choice between those panties in the picture or no panties at all, I'd say she made the right decision.