Check it, Peons: Your CNN Humiliation Compartmentalized

Tuesday, March 18, 2008


I'm not an American Idol fan. The last episode I watched featured Kelly Clarkson, so clearly the magic faded a long time ago.
I could be persuaded to tune in again if instead of the same boring old "Motown Night" or "Disco Night" or "Broadway Tunes Night" American Idol offered up some of these intriguing themes...

1. Yoko Ono Night: Imagine an entire hour where each contestant caterwauled like Yoko.

2. Songs Mixed By Music Producers That Madonna Blew Before Getting Her Big Break Night: Not sure which songs we'd hear, but it could be fun.

3. Hidden Masturbation Reference Night: This would include Billy Idol's "Dancing With Myself" Cyndi Lauper's "She Bop" and The Vapors' "I Think I'm Turning Japanese".

which leads me to...

4. Tipper Gore's PMRC Censorship Night: The kids would belt out hits such as Prince's "Darling Nikki" and The Scorpions "Rock You Like A Hurricane".

which ultimately brings me to...

5. Songs About Hookers Night-A Tribute to Fallen Politicians: We'd be entertained by the likes of The Police's "Roxanne" and Patti LaBelle's "Lady Marmalade".

Any others?


Anonymous said...

Liberace Night. The costumes alone would bring in the ratings.

Anonymous said...

Second the motion for PMRC Censorship Evenign...

First order of business:
"Come spend the night inside my 'Sugar Walls'".

a former audio-spud said...

Now would Sanjaya doing a cover of the Divinyl's only hit fall on PMRC Night or in this case, Not-So-Hidden Masturbation Reference Night? Let's see... William Hung crooning "Do Me"... hmm... now that's a tough one, 'cause he could be booked for either Yoko Ono Night, PMRC Night, OR follow Sanjaya's Divinyl's track.