Check it, Peons: Your CNN Humiliation Compartmentalized

Monday, March 10, 2008


It seems to me that today's celebrities are always branching out, seizing marketing opportunities wherever they can. This has resulted in Donald Trump's Signature Collection, Rihanna's umbrellas, Rachael Ray's garbage bowls and countless crappy celebrity perfumes cluttering up the shelves at Walgreens. (My current favorites are Antonio Banderas' "Diavolo So Sexy" and Shania Twain's "Starlight".)
Pity the stars of yesteryear who did not have the foresight to embrace this trend.
Imagine how much money could have been made off of:

1. Bill Cosby brand sweaters (see above)

2. Burt Reynolds brand mustache groomers

3. Suzanne Somers brand nude pantyhose, to be worn under Suzanne Somers brand shorty shorts

4. Duran Duran brand mousse and gel collection

5. Seinfeld brand suburban dork jeans

The possibilities are infinite...


a former audio-spud said...

What? Ronco hasn't released the Larry King suspender gift box yet?!

Anonymous said...

And what about a Lou Waters Turqoise Ring Collection? "For the Cable News Stallion itching to break free!"

Not From Concentrate said...

Don's Lemonade?

Anonymous said...

1. Tom Jones Brand Signature line of Pre-Stuffed-Trousers (Bratwurst included)

2.MC Hammer's Colostomy Slacks

3.The Helen Roper Mumu collection

4.Arthur Fonzarelli's autographed leather jackets...Aaayyy...

5.Bobbi Battista lazy eye contacts

Anonymous said...

Daryn Kagan's "Fake It 'Till Ya Make It Guide to Sports Casting." An inspiring handbook for anyone looking to break into a field they know nothing about (and want to display their lack of knowledge publicly).