Check it, Peons: Your CNN Humiliation Compartmentalized

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

THE PANDA'S REFRAIN: NOT TONIGHT DEAR, I HAVE A HEADACHE


Today I learned that pandas are not exactly promiscuous. Apparently, bumping uglies holds little appeal to them. Not content to leave the pandas alone in their asexual, bamboo-munching state, workers at the Beijing zoo are resorting to drastic measures to hornify them:

BEIJING (AFP) - China's notoriously sex-shy pandas are being put through a rigorous "sexercise" programme in a new effort to encourage them to mate, state media reported on Tuesday.
The Chengdu Panda Breeding and Research Centre in the southwestern province of Sichuan is making male pandas walk on their two legs to strengthen their pelvic and hip muscles, to better prepare them for sex, the China Daily said.
The move, which is achieved by luring male pandas up with an apple, looks remarkably like a dance routine and is aimed to boost the animal's sexual stamina, the report said.
Giant pandas are known to be sexually inactive, but the new measure follows several other initiatives taken to try and encourage breeding, including panda pornography.

PANDA PORNOGRAPHY!

Top 5 List of Panda Porno Names:

1. Tian Tian Jones and The Temple of Poon

2. How Mei Xiang Got Her Tube Packed

3. Su Lin Does Beijing

4. Bearly Legal

5. Black and White Cock Down

BONUS: Two Pandas, One Box

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Shaving Lun Lun's Privates

tomhanks said...

Forrest Hump